Me and you

My sister and I got in a fight today about why I don't have a boyfriend. Well, it didn't start out as a fight, and I know she meant well, but wrestling with the question is a little humiliating to do with a relative 13 years your junior who always seems to have guys fawning all over her. I love my sister to pieces, so this post is without a hint of malice, judgment or self-pity. Rather, it's a post to all my readers who are wondering why exactly I'm writing what I am. Am I looking for advice? For consolation? Am I really as concerned about finding a boyfriend as I seem to be?

The answer to all three questions is of course "no." Writing about one's personal life is a brave task and sometimes I've wondered why I do it. I've wondered if I'm looking for attention, and if there is something wrong with me at my need to be so transparent with the outside world. (My sister doesn't see my posts as a need for attention, she just lovingly wants to help me fix the problems I convey and I appreciate her for that.) Over the years I've come to accept this transparency and to not count it as a character flaw. I've come to realize that while maybe I shouldn't say everything to everyone, what makes me write about my personal life is the feeling I get when I'm privileged enough to read about others'.

In class we debate the differences between autobiographies and memoirs. While everyone has their own ideas on the subject, I view autobiographies as coming from an individual who has already established fame in some area of his or her life, be it politics or television, etc. For examples, think of Bill Clinton or Benjamin Franklin. They are writing to an already ripe audience and their stories are filled with dates, happenings, and a lifetime of personal journeys that show what made them the men they are and are already known to be. Memoirs, on the other hand, are written by writers in obscurity who write not because they are known but are known because they write. In this category picture David Sedaris and any other author who you know solely by their story alone, whether it be a rape victim, a homosexual, a prior Mormon, or any other individual who has written simply because they have a story to tell.

While memoirs are abounding maybe a little more than they should, what I find refreshing about them is that they are written by "ordinary" people sharing their own personal story. They write because something about them makes them different, but people read them in large part because they can relate. Not many of us can relate to being the president of the United States, but many more of us can relate to being different in some small or large way. And not even different, but just unique, because we are all unique in our own ways.

That's my goal with writing this blog. The most positive thing anyone can ever say to me is "Wow, I know exactly what you mean, that happened to me too," or "I thought I was the only one who felt that way." Writing can bring a community of strangers together in a common theme and bridge gaps that we didn't know existed. This blog isn't just about my search for love or my medical problems. It's about all of our searches, all of our problems, and all of our successes. When you read my blog I want you to find yourself in it. It is my ultimate goal that you read my words and think, "I'm not alone."

My sister is one of my best friends and confidants. It's only natural that she'd wonder what I can do to ensure my happiness and obtain a wonderful relationship like she has. One day I hope to, and I'm sure I will, but in the meantime I have no answers, only stories. Thanks for listening.