The great outdoors

I live in the Pacific Northwest, and as such I am surrounded by mountains and mountaineers. Almost every guy who shows up on the dating websites I've joined talks about his love of the outdoors: hiking, biking, skiing, snowboarding, kayaking, etc. It's not that I don't love a man who loves these things -- I do. I love hiking, I used to be a long-distance runner, and I would like to repeat my one snowboarding experience. But while I can hike in moderation, my body says no to most other sports. It's not just that my upper body deals with chronic soreness, but my "fibromyalgia variant," as my neurologist calls it, has unique motor issues that prohibit me from balancing on a bicycle like I used to and from going top speed down a mountain. It's hard to explain my body's reaction to the latter, but imagine you are watching a scary movie where something just jumped out at you and you sucked in your breath, tensed your body, and felt like you were going to explode, and you close your eyes in anticipation of you and the scary thing colliding. This is how I feel going down a mountain. It's not so much about colliding with the snow as colliding with each atom of air that I pass through. I know this makes no sense, and this is part of the problem.

If I'm supposed to find someone who shares my interests, how can I find someone who likes sports but doesn't do them? How can I find someone who, like me, loves to exercise his body but doesn't do it in the ways he would prefer because those ways are off limits for him? Do I fall in love with someone who loves to snowboard and have him take off for the mountain all by himself? Isn't part of a successful relationship not only sharing interests mentally but sharing them in actuality?

If this is the case, where are the men who love to sleep in on a Saturday morning and then go for a quick walk around the block? Who wouldn't mind their significant other riding an adult tricycle down the street, complete with a basket to put things in? Maybe I picked the wrong state to live in. Maybe I should live in the Chicago of "Return to Me" or the Manhattan of "Sex and the City." Places where Minni Driver's character can find love with a hot (and completely sweet) construction worker despite her heart problems and bicycled existence or where Carrie Bradshaw "never works out" but lands a millionaire with her perfect unexercised body. Yes, I realize these are TV shows and not real life, but when you spend a significant amount of time in flareups you come to live vicariously through characters on the screen!

For those of you who know me in real life, which at this point in the blog's history is everyone, you know that me spending all my time in front of the TV screen is not an accurate representation of my day. In fact, it is my industriousness and creativity that I'm hoping will compensate for my significant other having to climb the highest mountain without me. Or maybe he'll just be content to stay home and let me snuggle in the crook of his neck while feeding him gluten free pretzels.